A Few Steps Toward Radical Self-Acceptance

Of course, these are just stepping stones in a vast array of opportunity to begin your healing journey.

No suggestion is the best one and these may not work for everyone. Take what works and leave the rest. Comment below any other suggestions you may have or those that have worked for you in the past! These may prove useful for someone else that stumbles upon this page.

Photo by Vanessa Kintaudi on Unsplash

1. Ego and Shadow work

The “shadow self” is an archetype that is resurfacing as of late and beginning to become popular again. It was coined by Carl Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst. The parts of our Self that are repressed, invalidated, shamed, criticized, exiled become the shadow parts. Dr. Nicole LePera, a holistic psychologist, has done extensive research and work on ego and shadow work.

As mentioned in this video, Dr. LePera discusses how the ego wants to protect you. It becomes activated at times to help keep you safe. It is separate of your authentic Self. This process is not a quick-fix, however, the more time you work toward understanding and working with your ego, you may find this useful to help you along your journey to self-acceptance.

2. Forgiving Self

Realistically, we have all made choices that may not have been ideal or act against our values. This can create internalized guilt, shame, and fuel self-criticism.

Caitlin Abber wrote for Oprah Daily and shared a few tips to start working toward self-forgiveness:

• Own your mistakes

• Give those you’ve wronged space

• Know that errors don’t define you

• Take care of yourself physically and mentally

One technique that may provide some relief is to write an apology, but to yourself. For those that are not fans of writing, you may find that doing a voice memo can be cathartic. Taking a few minutes to write out (or vocalize) what has unsettled you, how you plan to resolve the issue, and what to do differently if it were to present itself again. Recognize that while you may be disappointed in yourself, you can be unconditional, loving, and self-compassionate. What would you say and do for one of your closest loved ones if they were in the same situation - but, for you!

3. Self-Regulation

In a nutshell, self-regulation is the ability to function as an autonomous individual [2]. When an individual self-regulates, they can have more control of their psychological processes. The ability to hone in on your body and have more control over thoughts, emotions, and behavior in an effort to also influence physiological occurrences. For instance, if a situation or stimulus leads to negative self-talk, self-regulation may involve reframing that negativity which can influence unhealthy coping behaviors to more positive self-talk, self-appreciation, and self-awareness.

Examples of self-regulation activities may look like:

• Practicing mindfulness (i.e., meditation, breathing exercises, grounding techniques)

• Being open to change

• Regular sleep and exercise

• Laugh more regularly. If not feeling like a laugh, smiling may help. Research is showing that even a fake smile may trick the brain into positive mood regulation [1]. Sharing in laughter with others can also be a huge mood boost!

  

  Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

4. Seek Professional Guidance

Doing self-work is one helluva task. And it certainly is something you don’t have to do alone. It can be extremely helpful to work alongside a mental health professional in your pursuance of self-acceptance.

Your journey will be different than those around you and it may take a while to reach a point when you wake up and feel whole or at the very least that you radically accept parts of yourself. It may very well be a shitty, difficult road ahead to access the clarity you seek - just know that you deserve to live as your authentic Self.

Keep up with me elsewhere:

Website: www.thementalhug.com
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Take care in the meantime,

Brenton